Underrated: Made in Chelsea

The OG's of Chelsea

Here’s something everyone knows: reality TV is fake. It’s producer manipulated and edited to make “reality,” something watchable. 

Here’s something I’ll admit: I don’t care. 

I consume a lot of television, from the absolute trash to the critically acclaimed, and I have one basic rule: If it’s entertaining, then game on. 

I have never been the kind of person to watch something I think is boring just because it is considered “good.” Conversely, I will proudly tell people all about the reality “crap” I watch because of one simple fact. I like it. After all, wouldn’t everybody like a little editing to make their lives more interesting? No? Just me? 

Liars.  

This is why I love Made in Chelsea, a reality show that doesn’t even pretend to be real. And judging by their season 5 premiere on Monday, it’s as if they have officially said “screw it, we’ll film it like an episode of Skins if we want to!” (Seriously, it looks as though they’ve hired a choreographer for some of these scenes.)

Now let’s backtrack, as you might be wondering “What the actual f--k is a Made in Chelsea?”

Answer: A British reality show about twenty-something Londoners who are so rich they take vacations from their vacations.

Other acceptable answers include:

A deep look into the complex lives of a circle of posh young things who spend most of their time staring off into the distance in dimly lit bars swilling champagne as they discuss how they’ve all hooked up with each other in monotone voices.

Or, simply the story of a young man who just wanted to open a candy shop, despite the odds.

These would all be correct answers. 

Now, you may be wondering again, “why would I want to watch a bunch of self-absorbed ass hats parade around with their grandfather’s hard earned money?”

Uh, because it’s beaut.

Here’s ten reasons why (with visual aids!):

1. The fights 

Trash talking, backstabbing, and even a bit of tattle-taleing are what keep these kids having something to talk about at brunch (and lunch, afternoon drinks, dinner, after dinner drinks...).

Fight like a man.

2. The theme parties

If Made in Chelsea has taught me anything, it’s that there’s never a reason too small to throw a party. Birthday? Have a party! Breast reduction? Have a party! Rent out that castle you’ve had your eye on and don’t stop partying until you’ve racked up thousands of dollars in damages to a historical sight!

3. The music
MIC plays some of the freshest new music around (which they have been lovely enough to compile for you here). But they haven’t stopped there. Even some of the cast members have lent their voices to the show, for better or for worse (mostly worse).

4. The stupid names

Caggie, Binky, Cheska, Proudlock, and Gabilicious are real people who exist. Seriously.

5. The entrepreneurial spirit

Throughout the series we have seen our precious little fawns grow up and try to branch out on their own. From ill advised singing careers to overpriced t-shirt lines, these kids know how to dream up a business (dreaming still counts as working right?)

But to be fair, some of them have actually succeeded, like Jamie’s sexy sweet shop and Francis’s published book.

So cheers mates! We never thought those would be real things!

6. The Lost Boys

The trio of Jamie, Francis, and Proudlock provides the show with plenty of comic relief and drama (will they ever find a flat big enough for their antics?). The three fun loving chaps are always a laugh as they hunt for birds and learn life’s most valuable lessons.

Shouts to all my lost boys

7. The single most despicable human being you have ever seen on television

Spencer Matthews is one greasy bastard. He's the bloated face of evil. That’s all.

Did I mention he did The Bachelor? Pure. Evil.

8. The things you can’t afford

Marble bust of yourself anyone?

A work in progress

9. The exotic locations

The best thing about unemployment leisure time is getting to travel and experience the local culture best hotels of far away lands. Dubai, Morocco, Finland, St. Tropez, Cannes, anywhere there's a marble hot tub really!

10. Millie Mackintosh. 

The bitch knows how to steal a scene.

bow down.